Mythological

Saturday morning I called my mom. She did not answer. I called her cell phone. Again, no answer. I called my sister. No answer. I called her cell phone, no answer. I called my mom's cell phone again. This time, my sister answered. She was at the doctor's office with my mom. They said my mom had bronchitis and sent her home.

Sunday morning I called my mom. No answer. I called my sister. No answer. I called my mom's cell phone, my sister answered. They were at hospital. Results were that my mom was having panic attacks. My sister told me that mama would wake up with panic attacks in the middle of the night. She would think about relatives who died suddenly from heart problems. They changed her valium medicine from taking when needed to taking 3 times a day. They were going to keep her overnight to observe and release her Monday morning.

Sunday night, I had a lucid dream. My mom was on a gurney with I.V. Then she was in a wheelchair. I woke at 1:10 a.m. with panic attacks. I realized it was only a dream and I stopped the panic attacks. When I went back to sleep, another dream came. I was laying in a field with my father to my back and my lover to my front. We were kissing. I realized that my father was ok with my lover. My father has never approved of any of the men in my life. Monday morning, I called my sister to see how our mom was. She said she hadn't heard anything. By the time I arrived at work, my sister called me telling me I needed to come. Morganton physicians said she needed a bypass. They did a dye thing. Where they insert dye to see if there were any blockages. They found 2 major blockages. Transporting her to Asheville for Morganton being a small town could not deal with this type of surgery.

My sister told me, "you need to come now". Panic arose. Airfare $600. Road from TN to NC closed due to rock slide. Ok. No. I refuse to pay $600 of my father's money for airfare.

My mom had her surgery this morning. Only one blockage. Stint inserted. She is healing nicely. Goes home tomorrow.

I started remembering when I was 22. I was bleeding badly. Doctor said it was "breakthrough bleeding from the pill". Actually, I was miscarriaging. Did an emergency D'nC. Accidently, the doctor perforated my colon. 6 inches were removed. My mom was in waiting room for 4 hours waiting to hear what was going on with this 1/2 hour procedure.

Where am I going with this? To my daughter's car. I do not like playing the part of the bitch. I bought a 1986 BMW from my daughter's friend's father in August. Just now got enough money to have it registered. Yet, it appears, one cannot sell a car in TN without it first being registered. Her friend's father did not register it. I went to his house, 3 streets up from mine, to inform him of this. I told him he needed to register it. I was met with such violence. It reminded me of a past life. A 6' man threatening me. Ogun came into play. Suddenly, my whole body reapt of power. No. You will not speak to me this way. Seeing a human being acting violently ripped through my being. I stood my ground. Yes, this will be resolved.

Pesto Tenderloins

Tenderloins

Onion Salt

Pepper

Steak Sauce

Homemade pesto

Marinade tenderloins in onion salt, pepper, and steak sauce. Then add pesto and broil 7 minutes. Turn and add more pesto and broil 7 more minutes. Simple and absolutely mouth watering! My own creation with a little help from Tammy's herbal garden and, of course, the garden of life. Friends who share - what could be better?

Autumn Sunrise

20" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas with Ink

Sold

The sweetness

the freshness

of delicious

lavishly

sex

Moderation

From Dan:
Date: 5/23/06

"My parents often told me; "moderation in all things." By that they meant a commitment to restoring and renewing balance and harmony by moderating states that become too extreme, that have a tendency toward locking into loops, just one things....like doctrines and obsessions. Every person has the tendency toward certain extremes; for one it may be alcohol, for another bossing people, for another, model trains. Nothing is accomplished in the realm of the inner being by exchanging one obsession for another in the outer world. I've seen it many times; energy that was devoted to the party life is replaced (usually at the point where it begins to decline) with the church, or some other institution. So be it.

My dad thought the church, for instance, was a good idea, in general, because it helped, slightly, to control human nature. And it definitely needs controlling! If you consider the body of humanity, comprised of the total of all the members of our society, you will see that it can be a slow moving, cruel and stupid beast. It is just in the early stages of its development, after all, and has a long long road ahead of it, if it is ever to develop to elegance of even a cockroach. Within that body there are individuals whose senses move toward the complete life...but they are relatively rare, and irregardless of how much work they do on elevating (poor word) or defining their sensibilities, they still are part of the body of humanity and subject to some of its worst characteristics. Important to remember that, and practice moderation.

I'm glad that you love my work, and that it has helped, if it has, to open the life of the mind and the senses, which are really one world, and yet many at the same time. This is an extremely busy time for me, and even the members of my family have little attention. I direct everything that I can toward the work at this point, because the time has arrived for certain things to come into being. The ancient Anglo-/saxons, who brought our language into being, called it a person's "wyrd.""

Notes

Lovely man

take my hand

let the music begin...

Lovely man

my best friend

notes floating

through the air

swirling around us

not to drown us...

Lovely man

take my hand

let the music begin...

Audacity

How dare you!

To have an affair

with her father

and then to flaunt

the fact

How dare you!

To have the audacity

to judge

my motherhood

how dare you!

Every time

she needed her father

How dare you!

To stand in her way.

How dare you!

Indian Meditation/Disneyworld

My daughter left for Disneyworld for a week to film with her media production class a series for t.v. My daughter's part - a supreme bitch. She plays the part very well I am told.

My youngest son spent the weekend in Greenley, CO with his R.A. group at a conference. He sent me this photo of the "Indian Facial" they did to relieve stress. He told me, "mom, it really works". He said the concoction was brown sugar, milk, and I think honey. He sat in this position for 15 minutes.

Twins & Lovers

I just watched the most wonderful film I have seen in a very long time. Shakesphere's "Twelfth Night". Never heard of it before, never seen it. It sung to my very being! So comical, so true. Poetic words filled my heart . Imagination, what a marvelous thing!

Angels

I've been cheated
been misleaded
when will I be loved

Angels are guiding me
showing me the way to be
taking my hand
to find a way

I've been cheated
been misleaded
yes
I will be loved

Angels are guiding me
hiding and defining me
is that who I really am

I'vc been cheated
been misleaded
yes
I am love

Content in the everyday life
of love
Content in the everyday life
of us
Content with
me

I've been cheated
been misleaded
yet
somehow
I still
found love

Being Me

I am a mother of three

grandmother of two

yet the wind carries

through the vibrations of sound

misty weather beating

to the tune of the drum

pounding me

being me

I am a mother of three

grandmother of two

alone and free

and loving you

loving me

for that is what I do

I love

I am a mother of three

grandmother of two

dew drops on my feet

carrying me

to distant places

resting calmly

upon my chest

breathing

in and out

sounds of silence

hearing loudly

the heartbeat

of my children

of my grandchildren

life is grand

living the vibrations

of those created

by the love in my blood

carrying distances

into the mighty

creation

to share

as life continues

to go forward

with a powerful

beautiful

thing

called

love

The Boar Hunter

From: dan
Date: 7-29-05

"I forwarded the email titled The Boat Hunter to a friend who converted it into email text so that I could read it. After giving it some thought, and considering the Fwds that you sent today, here are some thoughts:
The internet makes it possible to simulate communication quickly, and perhaps that fills a need to communicate which, for some, is not superficiality....it has the potential (as all forms of communication do) of being time-filling chatter. In any event, I cannot imagine why you forwarded me 3 emails concerning an unsuccessful attempt to communicate with a politician. Its hard to know how to respond to the flood of emails which I'm guessing must have some meaning to you, but which are incomprehensible to me.
One reaction is to ignore and delete everything that you send without reading it. So far I have read everything (except document files) Here's my assessment: your writing would benefit from an editor.
You utilize alot of terms that I simply don't understand....no problem if your main objective is to satisfy yourself by writing, but if you truly want to communicate with another living person the first step is to make sure that what you are saying can be understood. Often, at least for me, that means slowing down and understanding what you really way to say, or ask, rather than just pouring out a stream of words because you want to say something, anything, just as long as there's an endless stream of dialogue...the aim is continuity, I think, and its usually because the being who is endlesslly talking is afraid of acknowledging the power of silence, the presence of nothingness, and the knife of discontinuity. Perhaps its a simple fear of acknowledging mortality. I am not putting on the mask of a teacher or a healer. I'm an artist. This paragraph certainly falls in that regard...the best way to articulate the power of silence is to practice it.
What disconcerts me about your emails is that they ignore response...there are endless declarations of love, but never a question as to whether the being you are addressing wants love. I think the operative idea is that "everyone wants love"....a generality that handily evades the fact that humans are very specific about who and what they love....and that the word love is often a gloss for "what I want." Language can be mistaken for truth...or perhaps our understanding of what we perceive is shaped and limited by our languages. Science and society are quick to claim that we are all the same....and so we all share the same needs. Maybe. But to return this to the concrete....one declaration of love is enough for me. I'm glad my work is evocative to you. I've invested my entire life energy in becoming a part of that web of meaning...again, I'm wary of the language, but maybe you could say that I have sacrificed myself to that cause. Whatever. Its a beautiful life and I enjoy it deeply. I do not ask for anything more...not because of an imposed limit, but because my time is this, being an artist.
My sense is that you have been criticized alot, by the boorish people that you have (by circumstance or choise) associated with, and that you have never experienced acceptance by your peers (perhaps because you have yet to come in contact with them)....I think...and this is just my take....that you are limiting and inhibiting your possibilities by your overspiced language. My guess is that when you come in contact with a person that you have a genuine interest in, you immediately begin what is experienced as an overwhelming chaos of purging or a flood of random information. That's fine if your only intent is to purge and flood for your own purpose....but the unique beings of this world (and they are not only humans)...are repelled by the lack of articulation (care and restraint). What is attracted by an inarticulate flood? One word: Predators. Beings marked by excess are easy prey. Artists articulate this by flaunting the process...by attracting the monster. by being destroyed by it and returning "to life" In some societies (the ones I know of are tribal) this is recognized as a life sustaining gift brought thru the suffering of an adept spirit, for some reason....( and it could be an invisible "biological" quality) they are "chosen".
But an artist should know, and I do, that this life may bring utter self-destruction, even, and most likely, without recognition....and that it certainly makes "love" problematic at best. So be it.
The Boar Hunter message has "Gabriela" on it...I'm guessing from the song lyrics to The Gift. Gabriela is an artist friend from Iceland. The song is about our collaboration during her recent visit. It occured to me that you might enjoy joining a writers group and sharing some of your writing with others who are working on the craft of writing."

Years

I spent years in conversing with Mr. Dutton. 21C Hotel Lousiville, KY you totally suck. Here's to you...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7cv36_robert-mirabal-medicine-man-taos-ne_music

Thank you Rhonda!

Does Anybody Hear Me?

24" x 24" Acrylic on canvas with Ink

Does anybody hear me

do you know the truth?

Does anybody hear me

a woman with a view?

Does anybody hear me

as they lay awake at night?

Does anybody hear me

no fear no fright.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/R?i=0dctIMeJE2y4LSZAkAFPfw..

Sex

If a spouse withholds sex

then yes

the spouse will explore

other means for desire of the flesh

If a spouse withholds sex

it is a power play

a hold

on the genitals

for which I disagree

Yet

if a spouse withholds sex

for the spouse is battered, beaten, or broken

why not

the spouse will go elsewhere for

the pure satisfaction of feeling loved

Yet

if the spouse withholds sex

for any other reason

then yes

the spouse desires the passionate

love of passionate sex

passionate love

eroticsm

the foreplay of love

Power play

If one has no desire for sex

yet holds it over the other's head

that is control

sheer control

Let him go

yet

my mind is made up

Choices are made

Energy flowing is off balance

who do I owe this to?

A past

A past of long ago

making amends

find the coffee

and the candle

making amends

letting the past go

if you believe it so

Beliefs

Beliefs

let it go

I believe in love

No compromises

What is alive today

Not dead

Yesterday

I have no beliefs

only love

lives inside of me

No compromises

my choice is made

Orisa Obatala

Lord of The White Cloth

Mo juba awo Obatala.
Iwo ni Eleda Orisha.
Iwo ni Orisha Julo Nase.
Iwo ni Oluwa Awo Ori.
Iwo ni Oluwa Awo Ogbogba.
Iwo ni Oluwa Awo Mimo.
Iwo ni Oluwa Awo Alafia.
Iwo ni Oluwa Awo Ti Abo ati
Ako Ipilese.

I humble myself before the mystery of Obatala.
You are the Creator of the Orisha.
You are the Most Powerful Orisha.
You are the Owner of the Mystery of
Consciousness.
You are the Lord of the Mystery of Balance and Equality.
You are the Owner of the Mystery of Purity.
You are the Owner of the Mystery of Peace.
You are the Owner of the Mystery of the Feminine and the Masculine Principles

Spirit Eyes

Seeing through the eyes of the spirit
a love so divine
Seeing through the eyes of the spirit
which only shines
Seeing, feeling, touching
through the flesh of the spirit
warmness accelerates

radiating the glow
Being spirit
shows

Plastic

"C'est Moi"

24" x 24" Acrylic on canvas with ink

When I was in the 6th grade, I had a friend named Jane. She was from a very wealthy family. Their house was huge! I would spend the night there at times. She had an older brother who had a cowboy/indian set with a fort. We would drag them out and play. Little plastic creatures. Probably, not even knowing it at the time, since I was part Indian, I would always play the part of the Indian. What I remember most, was..."why are we fighting?".

She use to get so mad at me. Never knew why. Jane moved to another state within that first year of our becoming friends. Wonder where she is now?

Armanddus from Lisboa, Portugal sent me this song. Thank you Armanddus!

From: Dan
Date: March 14, 2006

"No, nothing electric vibrates through me via the internet whatsoever. I definitely have my thing with electric energy, for a long time it came in the form of a black jaguar. After years of training it became a black man. When I finally got the hang of it it stopped taking a form and became "pure" ecstacy (whatever THAT means) at first as lightning, at night. If you look at the bottom of Red Rob (he finally appeared in human form) you can see a thing shape wrapped in leather and red beads. That's a sliver from a lightning struck cedar tree. You could find out more about it in a book called "friends of Thunder"....but lets just say that I keep my respectful distance from electric power now.
The mistake that you are making is exactly where your 2nd email places it. I am not looking for anything in particular (there's a term for the state, but I don't have time to go in to it here.) and as I've so often assured you, there's no running or hiding involved from anything you could know about. Let go of your obsession and you'll feel freer. Trust me on that one.
I assure you that I have all the love, and more, that I can deal with at present. Its nothing like what you seem to think it is. My "electric charge" if that's what it is, gathers in the earth. My sensual experience of it is to walk barefoot. And that's all there is to that, and all there will be to it."

http://www.powersource.com/cocinc/articles/tlanuhwa.htm

http://www.archive.org/stream/occoneecheemaido00jarr/occoneecheemaido00jarr_djvu.txt

Glimpse

Lucky enough to catch a glimpse

a glimpse of your humanness

Lucky enough to catch a glimpse

a glimpse of you

an angel

being human

Lucky enough to catch a glimpse

of the soul

being who you are

before you were

who you are

Lucky enough to see

the soul

as a person

Lucky enough to see

the soul

flying free

of responsibility

Lucky for me

to see

the man

who lives inside

of you