Table 5-28-12

 My end table was originally made of glass.  During one of  my numerous moves, one end table glass was broken.  I replaced both glasses with marble.  I came across the unbroken glass the other day and decided to paint it.  Now I guess I will need to paint the other marble.  This memorial weekend I spent with my mom in NC.  Every time I would speak to her on the phone, she would say, "I wish you were here to cook for me".  So I did.  I marinated salmon and chicken with olive oil, fresh ginger, and frest mint.  Steamed broccoli and carrots and bought her potatoes.  I believe she now has enough food for at least a couple of weeks.  The ginger and the mint is for her nausea.  Long ride, short trip but my youngest son went with me and it was a delight! 

Fantasy

I got caught up in a great fantasy.  The one where the scientist and the doctor wife aren't actually as they seem.  Portrayed as the perfect family with 4 kids, something was admist.  Of course, I had to be the one to find out what was missing.  It's been quite a journey.  Venturing inside the rich folks life.  Until the day we were caught.  Suddenly, I am the bad guy.  But what I learned is how my ex's mistress got caught up in our life.  It wasn't me.  It was him.  His need to rome???  I don't know.  But I do know he never stopped loving me.  Just as I stand here today, knowing my scientist friend never stopped loving his dr.  Amongst all this craziness, this lunar eclipse, this experience of energy, .... follow your heart.  It will lead you home.  My home is inside of me.  Outside, cussing the "scientists" who experiment...yet, it is all good.  Have never felt more peacefulness in the entirety of my life.  Why?  No guilt. 

Work In Progress Completion 5-19-2012

Seasons

29" x 40" Acrylic on Glass with Glitz

"Change is the only absolute in the world,

the only thing that you can depend on.

Nothing stays the same.

Tomorrow will come,

bringing with it

new beginnings and sometimes

unexpected endings.

You can hold on to the past

and get left in the dust;

or, you can choose to

jump on the ride of life

and live a new adventure

with perseverance and

an open mind."

 

~Irene Dunlap

Lost

Lost is not a good place to be

Not only have I lost a lover

but

my best friend

He was my constant companion

My soulmate

I still feel him inside me

Thriving and loving me

Guiding me

Promises of always loving me

still live with me

Once telling me

"I can't imagine my life without you in it"

Makes me wonder

the power of words

He was my inspirer

my inspiration

Timing is everything

Life keeps flowing

Lessons learned

Am truly sadden

yet

with a smile on my face

for this bliss I live in

remains

Hard to explain

being happy and sad

at the same time

Tears did fall

but still

feel his love



Just Another Story...

The morning and evening commutes on the train to Chicago and back

Join me as he took my hand

Into fantasy land

Souls touching

Hearts beating

Pretending to be who he's not

Just another story...

Swimming into the unknown

Join me as he took my hand

Again, another fantasy land

Taking him away from the life he led

Again, pretending to be who he's not

Just another story...

"Holly's Splendor"

A wine he bought to wet my soul

Dinner and then

the dessert

Not fantasy land at all

Two souls connecting

Intertwining

Reaching, touching the divine

Just another story...

That needs to be told....in time...

The numerous vacations
to Steamboat Springs
again, take my hand
as we fly together
soaring down the mountain
holding me dearly
in his arms
Again, just another story...

The music stopped

Lights went out

Another lonely man

Breaks

Can't stand his ground

The jellyfish arose

No spine

Bellies under

Just another story...

A man

With no plan

Broken hearts

Broken dreams

We played our parts

Danced with our souls

Just another story

Told

The truth is a lie
The lie is the truth
Twisted and coerced
Matters in a frame
The picture
unfolding
Not gently
exploding
Just another story...

No longer hurts
My soul is protected
from predators
who prey...
Just another story...
Have a nice day!

Not so simple
to end it this way
All the positive words
flowing
yet
the loss
of  a best friend
won't simply go away
Just another story...

For years,
your words were the first I heard
as I woke to the morning sun...
your voice,
so soothing
helping me in so many ways,
my love, my heart
is now betrayed
How can you do this?
Just another story...

We walked many miles a day
becoming closer and closer
yet,
you let it end this way...
Just another story...

How we found our way
I have much to say
Yet guarding my words
So many hearts involved...
Just another story...

Nowhere to go,
Nowhere to hide,
Raw emotions
crying softly...
how many times did I say...
let me go...
Yet would always come back to you
Just another story...

Does it end this way?

It has to.
The ending
will bring
new beginnings...
The old must go...
Just another story..
memoir in my book
My best friend you will always be
if only in memory

Just another story....

C'est moi!

 

Ice Queen

Ice Queen - Such a harsh, harsh word, such a harsh, harsh being, why take something you don't want,  something you only thrive to control, a sliver of my soul

Ice Queen - You pull all the stops, delete all the buttons, yet, you can't control my soul, the piece of me that thrives to relieve all the damage you have done

Ice Queen - Let go.

Work In Progress 5-16-12

Work In Progress 5-8-12

Love in all its complexity, in all its simplicity, is just that love.  Love exits spiritually, yet, is that the "right" love, or a love from karma

from a past long ago

which we no longer have to pay the debt

I am a very soulful, loveful being,  still discovering this thing called love.

To me love is being.

Love is now.

Love is uncompromising.

Love on hold

never withstands.

Who am I?

How many have questioned "who am I"?

Well..

I am love.

Yet, today,

it is not tomorrow,

it is not yesterday, it is now.

I go by what I feel now.

Who

is with me now?

To be in the correct form

I believe it is called evolving

yet ...

being me

I don't believe in evolving

only now.

Now...

there is no one who

swallows my heart

only the dignity of being you

and patiently allowing

me to be me.

Today's time is strange to me

a world of spiritual

which is absolutely new to me

and a world of grounding

which covers me completely.

Never go back...constantly go forward

grasping the world of the unknown.

Reflecting

"This is now, not a story told a long time ago".  Reflecting back to a place I can not even fathom being.  My heart holds a special place for someone who showed me the difference.  More in his words, "not a once upon a time".  Yes.  There were lots of once a more a time.  Today, I love.  Yesterday, did not know the meaning of love.  Today, what is the meaning of love to me?  It is just being me and happy I am me.  Taking my past, ancient past included, and knowing who I am and what a delight it is to be alive.  May sound simple for some, yet for me, it was a hard, walked path.  Bliss.  Yes, that is my word.  Newly discovered with the help from a friend and I am still ever so grateful for our ... searching for right word...state of grace.  Little things no longer bother me.  Patience is a very key word.  Love...dominates.  Hatred no longer exists.  Life is...what you want it to be.  Sometimes demanding, sometimes harsh, yet, it is all what you need to get to where you need to be.  Thoughts come to mind...smiles.  Yea, I like to smile!