Joy

To feel so much joy

hard to describe

the reason why

To feel so much joy

my heart in my hand

silky and warm

beating for you

Light radiates

fragrance

embrace

hold on to me baby

with no

mistake

crossing states

open gates

feel me

love me

touch me

I'm

yours

in every form

I'm yours

Human Artist

To be fascinated by an artist's work

to be amazed with the connection

To be fascinated by an artist's work

then suddenly realizing

the artist is merely a human being

To be fascinated by an artist's work

then suddenly recognizing

the artist has feelings

and the feelings are expressed

bringing the connection together

is of the highest ...

No words to express

what I feel inside

Steps

Today, as I walked down the hallway to my office, it appeared as if a green step illuminated before me. As I would step on each particle of green limestone, I saw the step, yet, it would disappear after I stepped on it. It was my choice to follow each step. As I turned to go into my office, full of my paintings, suddenly, they turned red. The steps no longer disappeared, only became brighter as if I were stepping into myself. Becoming. Becoming a part of the passion. Becoming whole. Becoming one. Becoming me.

Mother

18" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas with Ink

Friday night, I left to go spend the night with a friend who's house was broken into. It was a long, disturbing night. I came home early Saturday morning and climbed in my own bed and slept until almost noon. I called my mother when I awakened. She said, "where are you"? I told her I was home. She then said, "well, I called you and you weren't there". Now this is funny. I am 53 years old and my 81 year old mother STILL questions my whereabouts!!!

Thinking about this, lead me back to my childhood streets. Waking up to the mailman, Mr. Bob bringing our mail. The day my "Denise the Menace" silver spoon arrived. I still have that spoon. Going "downtown" with my mom to all the small shops. The small town decorated with Christmas lights and ornaments. The fabulous smell of the grass when my father mowed it. Years and years rolling by. The sadness of tragedies. The miracles of happiness. Bringing me to today. Infinite possibilities. Gratefullness to a life well lived.

Energy

16 " x 20 " Acrylic on Canvas with Ink

Use to be I could pick up on negative energy
not today
Use to be I could dwell on negative energy
not today

It's been almost 4 years since my daughter
has spent the weekend with her father
so yea
energy is flowing
how do I recover
or do I attempt
or do I just let it flow

not knowing
the outcome
not knowing
the realization

I don't

I can only take today
cannot predict tomorrow

so

how do I deal
with something that feels
totally wrong???

I let go
I trust in the universe
to bring only goodness
only magic
to the lives of the ones
who have done no wrong

This love
which dwells inside of me

I know
it can harm
I know
it can hurt

Yet
still I trust in the love
of the universe
for it's children
it's borne

Letting go
letting flow
yes
that is me
a love
so surrounded with goodness
to evade all darkness

Even though I know
it is all the same
I especially want the light
for inside of me
I know
there is an evilness
churning

Waiting
Waiting
to put out the light

Yet
when one sees
there is no darkness
here is no lightness

then yes
it is only good
watch over my child
protect her being
that is all I ask of

ask of who????

Millions of thoughts
digested each day

Look for the good
and it you will see
it wasn't me
it wasn't him
it just was
of times
long ago

Change
yes change
for all I know is a heart's desire
a desire to be love

So tired of fighting
life is
make a choice
choose love.

Choices

http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/dia/track.jsp?v=2&c=PPDzc1jPrik%2Bi9tZH3wwIZT4d%2BD1S7WY

Leftovers

Despite 4 days of rantings and ravings from my ex's wife, my daughter now has a choice as to if she sees her father. And no, she is not a "leftover". She only married my "leftover".

Anger

I am so angry I cannot even respond right now. Yet I will, eventually.

Masks

20" x 16" Acrylic on canvas with Ink

I started this painting with a brush. I finished it with my fingers. Yea, I painted it directly with paint applied to my fingers. It felt so good.

Date: 3/9/2005
From: Dan

"I'm not going to reveal behind the mask, because if I did, the magic would be gone. There's nothing hidden or wrong (well no more so than your average masked voice) behind it....it is a tool that works. At least so far. Perhaps it would help if you view it as a work of art....I'm performing something for an audience of one. That's a very intimate sort of audience (I'm much more comfortable singing for hundreds of people than for one.)....and the mask of the email is just the medium I need to do it. I'm not afraid to take it off...that's not it...it is in play at this time, and taking it off is not part of the play. Oh, I could say that I was, and I could even fool myself (almost) into believing that I had. The play could even fascinate like Chinese boxes, taking off one mask only to reveal another one beneath the first, and another, and another. I have worked with these types of images and I'm handy with them.

The play has a purpose....it is designed with a purpose. You've often wondered how it seems to connect with the scriptures that you pick. Well it is because the design and the purpose work together. As long as they do, the play works too.

I'm not sure if this is understandable. Some things cannot be explained without destroying or dissecting them. "But hope that is not seen is faith; for what a man sees, why does he yet hope for it? The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, is faith. And our Lord is a consuming fire.""

Gold To Me

Baby

16" x 20" Acrylic on Canvas

9-16-09

16" x 20" Acrylic 2007
First Painting Sold

36 years ago today, at the age of 17, I gave birth to my firstborn. I was separated from my abusive husband at the time. I thought a baby would change him. It didn't. We separated again when our son was 8 months old when he knocked a door down on top of us. It was my choice to have our child.

As a dear friend said to me, "some men can't be fixed".

Colored Pencils 2006

I was metamorphosing. I was made to believe "everyone does it", yet, at the time, they weren't.

Recycled

20" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas

By Holly: 9-09-09

16" x 20" Acrylic on Canvas with Ink

I had the urge to paint yesterday. Needed healing. Needed change. Did not have money for canvas so I went through old paintings and found one that had no meaning for me. So, I painted over it. The original painting was painted 9-28-08. It was purple and white. Yes, change was made, after finding what changes needed to be made. Sometimes it is good to go back to what was and make it what is now. Just doing it through different eyes.

Closed Eyes

My eyes are closed
seeing through deep, deep foamy red
My eyes are closed
your hands are there
we touch
we meet
My eyes are closed
I climb onto our lap
My eyes are closed
Rest my head upon your chest
Your arms encircle me
The light
The light
My eyes are closed
Your wand enters me
My eyes are closed
rocking gently
the lights grows brighter
My eyes are closed
blockages open
The light
The light
Communication is made
My eyes are closed
We remain open
Beauty as one
our eyes are open

Strip It Down

Strip it down

layer upon layer

strip it down

piece upon piece

remove top layer

to find another piece

remove next layer

strip it down

piece upon piece

what remains

a heart

as big as a star

shining brightly

loving lightly

holding tightly

strip it down

all the way

down to the center

a star

shining brightly

loving lightly

strip it down

hold it tightly

nothing to break

nothing to shake

pure

soul

living

with no boundaries

love

love

only love

Butterfly Wings Left Behind

After I posted my painting "Left Behind" this morning, my daughter got up and said, "oh, mom, it is beautiful...the best one yet!". She went outside and found a butterfly wing. A little bit later, I walked outside and happened upon the matching wing. So I glued them back together to the top left corner of my painting. My daughter said, "it fits!".

Left Behind

20" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas with Ink

Moonshining

I talked with my sister tonight. She recalled a story our dad told her right after our mom's mom died. She said my dad remembered when he first started dating my mom and he went with her brothers, uncle Ducky and uncle Bob, to our grandfather's still. He told her the revenuers came and so him and my uncle Bob went to the revenuers' car and pushed it off a bridge, down into the water. She wasn't sure why they did that other than the fact that the revenuers were out on foot searching for the still. Probably to delay them. It still amazes me the things I learn as an adult about my family's "real" life. My grandfather was half Cherokee. I also learned today how the slaves back then were mostly Yoruba when they were sold. This fascinates me. A whole other story than the one I was taught.

My father's father, who died while I was still in my mother's womb, was a sheriff, a gambler, and yes, a moonshiner. And I thought I was "bad"! No wonder I am who I am. Pieces of the past. Made anew. A few years ago, I rid myself of the past. Seeing through new eyes.

Flower for Eshu

20" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas