At 7:20 this morning, a lady hit me. She was at a stop sign, I was going straight. Out of nowhere, she appeared. I slammed on my brakes yet it was too late. I hit her. It felt like eternity. I covered my head, being carried to the unknown. Then it was over. We were both still alive. The memory of life slowing down. It was real, yet so unreal. I did not know if I would be dead or alive. Yet, once again, life shows its miracles. I was alive. So was she. Uninsured driver. I guess that sucks yet I am not insurance company having to pay. I've been paying my car insurance accident free ever since I moved here, hmm, 1982. Long time. Spent the day with friends...grounding me once again. In the click of a moment, life can change, or not. From what I've told my insurance company, they say it sounds like my car is a total loss. Outside doesn't look like it, but I see the internal injury. While this accident was occurring, I recall thinking, hey, whatever happens...happens...you are not in control...yet, it appeared I was. I wasn't ready to die. Yet, accepting if I did.

New Blog...Being Female

Being female, hard, good word, to start this new blog called "The Penis". Yes, actual male models which I will paint.

Treehouse With A View

I took my daughter to Treehouse-BMW to pick up her car which needed repairs. As we walked out of the shop, this view took my breath. Quickly I reached for my phone and captured this photo. At the same time, my daughter did the same. Fittingly, why this shop is called Treehouse.

Death

My ex father-in-law died this week. Even though we have had nothing to do with one another since my ex left, I cried. I cried for years of memories. As I loved my ex's mom, I also loved my ex's dad...at one time. It is difficult to love someone when they abandon that love...when they abandon love period. My daughter has had an especially difficult time. Her father abandoned her when he left me. Not wanting to draw this out, death brings closure. My kids have been bonding since their grandpa died. They have been bonding with each other and their dad. In short, they are talking about what is real.

The lifetime I shared with my kids' father was real. The best part about that is it doesn't hurt anymore. Finding the freedom to be me and accepting me is the most wonderful thing I can think of. Lessons were learned. You cannot change someone else. You can not fix someone else. Only accept and move on.

No. Life is about change....not acceptance. If you don't like the notes being played on the keyboard, then change the notes....a very early lesson from Dan. I read my ex father-in-law's obituary. What an outstanding citizen...so it seemed. Truth of the matter is...he was a son of a bitch. Hate using that expression due to feminine being a bitch...yet, with gender removed, he just wasn't what he appeared. He is being buried today. Back to the earth where he came from. Still living are his children who are blinded by death. I still see how he treated their mother and his children and his grandchildren. Death does not fix. Unless one dies with you. Let the dead be dead and the live be alive. Leaving the past buried. Learn to be yourself. Not lessons taught. If, and that is a very big IF, my ex now bonds with his children, it will be of no thanks to his past. It will be because of the present. The living presence of life. Not death.

Seduction

18" x 24" Acrylic with Glitz on Canvas

Art seduces

Guiding my hand

upon perfection

Art seduces

mystifying

not defining

the air I breathe

Art seduces

heat portraying upon my back

with coolness

glowing down the front of me

Art seduces

hands upon the canvas

lighting up

going deeper

sweet melody

being alive