Night Sky - Steamboat Springs

You mingle, jingle, wade against all odds

the past, the present, the future

which comes into play

Is your destiny

in your hands

or

do you accept all that comes your way?

I see life as history

as yesterday

as today

making choices

you know what happened then

so change the outcome

to a better way

Love

love is so sweet

love is divine

it lives within

No physicality

yet

very physical

in a human way

50 plus

cannot believe my eyes

only yesterday

was a bittersweet of 20 something

yet miserable finding my way

Age

Age is pure

wisdom added

still as a child

the love within

only wants to shine

No more heartbreak

no more

period

life

expanded

joy

love

past ugliness

seeing what's real

it all comes from within

my heart is pure

my love is pure

nature rules

sometimes in a harsh way

yet in the end

it was only the beginning

of a powerful journey

There is no beginning

there is no end

my love

always

spent

no matter what

it was worth the trip

Steamboat Springs, CO

The beauty of a glorious mountain.
Feel the presence.
Feel the essence.
She breathes.

From Trash to Beauty to Bloody Mess

Yesterday morning, I spent in the emergency room. I had slipped on a rug and fallen and hit my head on a step trimmed in metal. From trash to beauty to a bloody mess. I now have 3 staples in my head. The scene itself looked like a crime scene. So much blood comes from head injuries. I am thankful to be alive. I did not realize I was bleeding after falling and went back to bed only to wake up again in a bloody mess. My daughter spent the day taking care of me and washing bedsheets. Her boyfriend scrubbed the carpet, floor, walls, and door. Two bloody handprints would not come off the carpet of where I had crawled to the phone to call for help. This month has been extremely difficult for me in more ways than one. Yet, I am so thankful for my friends and family who are always there for me, in more ways than one. 24 hours of rest and I should have my strength back. Oh, and hopefully, have all the blood out of my hair.

After picking up 8 miles worth of trash along the roadway, I came home to paint my world full of beauty. It is terrible how people will throw out their trash along the roadway. Sickens me.

Jackson Browne: For A Dancer

Keep a fire burning in your eye
Pay attention to the open sky
You never know what will be coming down
I don't remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you'd always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you're nowhere to be found

I don't know what happens when people die
Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can't sing
I can't help listening
And I can't help feeling stupid standing 'round
Crying as they ease you down
'cause I know that you'd rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away
(right on dancing)
No matter what fate chooses to play
(there's nothing you can do about it anyway)

Just do the steps that you've been shown
By everyone you've ever known
Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another's steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you'll do alone

Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don't let the uncertainty turn you around
(the world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you'll never know

Interesting...

Interestingly, this is the image I saw this past weekend as I laid in my cell in prison. My cell mate had been there for 15 months. She was getting ready to be shipped off to the state pentitinuary for 15 years - no parole. She is the mother of a 2 year old arrested on drug charges. 34 years old. I had the bottom bunk. She was on top. The 1st night I was there, I could not sleep. I laid on the single cot, no pillow, dazing. The only window was beside her upper bunk. The moonlight shined. On the wall in front of me, this is what I saw. The 2nd night I was there, we were awakened at 4:30 a.m. for breakfast. When she finished eating, she sat and knelt in prayer in front of her bible. I laid on my cot, trying to focus on anything except what was. She then began reading the bible outloud. I got up, tried to open the locked door, anywhere, anyway to escape what was happening. She still read outloud. Why was her reading the bible upsettling me. Because, long ago, I learned the bible was written by man, man's translation from what he was experiencing then. The bible itself can be imprisoning...if one believes. That day, I saw firsthand, man's translation, from what he/she was experiencing at the time.

This whole DUI thing has been very traumatic. Taking my time in writing what I experienced. What I do know is... the world and the laws are messed up. Keep to yourself, focus on what is really important and most of all, learn to love and be loved.

Shame Law

TN is the only state which has the "shame law". First time DUI offenders are made to pick up litter on public highways, roadways wearing a vest stating "I Am A Drunk Driver". I was given 24 hour community service doing "Litter Pickup". I served my first 8 hours last Saturday along with 19 others. Most of the passerbyers honked their horns giving us "thumbs up" and "peace signs". Others merely took pictures. Whatever, it didn't bother me. I was pleased of the outcome after 5 miles of picking up trash. It is overwhelming how many citizens throw out trash.

I go to jail in a few hours. I have to serve 48 hours. Again, this is mandatory for 1st time offenders. I will be in a DUI class for 16 hours of the time I am incarcerated. The hardest part was telling my mom. I call her every Saturday morning and I knew she would be worried when I didn't call. She has already been concerned with my sister who was diagnosed with breast cancer so I held off as long as I could telling her. My sister had her left breast removed but the good news is ... it didn't spread and she won't have to have chemo. Instead, they will be treating her with hormonal treatment. My precious mom called my friend Donna when I told her I had to go to jail. She wanted to make sure someone was here for me. Donna comforted and assured my mom that she was here for me and I would be ok. My mom says to me, "Holly, you are my daughter and I will always love you, no matter what".

I spent yesterday afternoon being cherished. I have a friend who is a professional photographer. He took numerous shots of me telling me how amazing I am. A touch of love and friendship from a dear friend.

This painting is for my friend Donna who drove me when I had no license. Even when I got a temporary license with a interlock device...a breathalizer...she still called making sure I could drive. This whole DUI crap sucks but in the end, it is friends and family who matters. The love I feel in my heart overwhelms me to no end.

"Shame Law"...I have no shame. It was a joy to pick up the trash and make my community cleaner.

I also want to tell you about my wonderful children. My daughter who picked me up from jail at 3:00 a.m.; and accompanied me to court and held my hand; who took me back to the courthouse numerous times for the numerous tasks which involved my DUI; who took me to get my license back; and who is taking me to jail this morning. My sons, who only love me and support me, no matter what. Looking at the world today and all that's going on, my DUI is really no big deal, except to me and my family and friends. Live and learn...as always.