This morning was absolutely a moment of truth. So many questions were answered for me. One question remains....why did Bob walk away from me that night?
Who is Bob? Bob is the only man that gave me the strength and courage to leave my ex-husband. The story begins...
When I met my ex, he was a charmer. It was at a club in early 1982. He had just flown into NC from CA. He was the sound guy for the band. At the time, my boyfriend, who was the lighting guy for the band, had just told me he wanted to date other people. I cried on my ex's shoulder. I was condemning all men at the time. He just kept saying, "what about me, what's wrong with me"? I ignored him. The night ended. I went home. Later on, I began dating other men. During those months, my friend who was married to the drummer of that band, kept calling me and telling me that my ex wanted to see me again. Finally, in July, I agreed. Now here is the truth that I didn't know at the time....he had been busted for selling cocaine and was going to prison. At the time, he told me he was set up and that he sold the cocaine for the band to an undercover narc. That was a lie. It was his. He then told me he had to go to Jacksonville, NC to court and asked me if I wanted to go and we could spend a few days there on the beach. I agreed. We did not leave until after midnight. Finally, when we departed, I learned that he did not have a driver's license. So I had to drive all night long 8 hours. When we got there, he wanted to go to a strip club, but I said no. The next morning, he left for court. He did not return. Oh, the other big lie. He told me he had hodgen's disease and 6 months to live. Yes, big lie. The truth is the guys in the band told him to get with me and I would take care of him. Yes, such a sucker I was. His attorney brought me his briefcase and luckily there was enough money in it to pay hotel bill and gas for me to get home. I stopped by the jail and talked to him through a glass. He was crying and asking me to get him a lawyer to get him out. He was shipped to maximum security jail in Raleigh, I believe it was. I drove 4 hours to visit him - because he asked me to. Finally, I got a lawyer for him and he was shipped to a minimum security prison 30 minutes away from my home, which I had built myself, and lived with my then 9 year old son. I was working full time for the State of NC.
For 6 months, I asked my parent's to keep my son every Saturday telling them I was going shopping, when in fact, I was visiting my ex in prison, bringing him food and cigarettes. For 6 months he would call me collect every night. For 6 months, we wrote letters every day. He proposed marriage to me while he was in prison.
Another incident which should have been a flag to me, on my phone bill, there was a collect call made to Michigan from the prison. I was furious. Money was tight already for me. The call was made on Christmas Day. He told me he called his aunt to say Merry Christmas. He was only allowed to make 1 call a day. During this period, he would miss calling me. Later, on other phone bills, the days he did not call me, were calls to his "aunt". I realize today that I simply did not want to see the truth.
Finally, January 3, on his mother's birthday, who was so grateful that I was there to help her son, he was released. I picked him up at the prison and he moved straight into my home. When I finally told my parents, where I really was going on those Saturdays, my dad remarked as he threw down the book he was reading, "boy, Holly you can pick 'em!".
His mother sent him $600 when he got out of prison. He bought a guitar. He got a job with the same band. At a show one night, I passed by the men's bathroom and the door opened which I saw him snorting cocaine. Then a girl asked me if I was paying for the beers he was buying. Yes, it was on my tab. She then thanked me for he had been buying hers. I, again, was furious. We fought when we got home. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me up against the wall. That's all I can remember about that night.
Being my curious self, plus the fact, I started getting hang-ups on the phone, one day while he was working, I went through his things. I found out he was only 22 years old. I saw his expired driver's license. At the time, I was 26. He had told me he was 25. Then I found a poem he had written in prison... it read..."Oh Michigan Lady, Michigan Lady, you are so good to me. Oh Michigan Lady, you're all I need". Then I questioned my neighbor and she confirmed that while I was working, a girl was picking him up and dropping him off before I arrived home from work. He would call me at work and tell me he was walking to the store. I came home early one day when he told me he was walking to the store. I pushed the re-dial button on my phone. She answered. I didn't say a word. The phone was never hung up. I could hear them having sex.
That day, when he got home, I confronted him. We fought. He did not touch me that day. I would have killed him. My son came home. Suddenly he began to fake a heart attack. My son became upset and cried "call 911 - call 911". My response, "let him die". But my son called my father and my father came and we drove him to the emergency room. Doctor came out and told me it was an anxiety attack. I then asked him about the Hodgen's Disease and he confirmed that he did not have cancer and was not dying.
16" x 20" Acrylic with glitz on Canvas
