WebCam

Ok. I try to think of myself as being open minded. Yet, when a grown, professional man shows himself to me on camera, it kinda freaks me out. I was curious. But in the back of my brain, possibly human, I thought, no way in hell would I want this man in my life. In simple words, it was pathetic. Humans are human. We have feelings. We try to dodge these feelings yet they exist, at least for me. I don't want to be dehumanized. I know what I like and know what I don't. Egostistic. Yes, when it comes to love. I want to be special.

Why

http://www.jango.com/stations/265195139/tunein?song_id=337904

Why do I do the things that I do

which entails speaking my mind

walking in bliss

A smile covers my face

which I embrace

to match my entire being

Being connected

always reflecting

makes me wonder

why do I do the things that I do

Not asking for much

I have all that I need

except for a mate

I don't like to date

Solitude is my friend

happy being alone

the thought of marriage

is out of the question

for who knows if anyone

could put up with me

the way that I am

doing the things that I do

speaking my mind

walking in bliss

State of the Union

All of these applauds from "State of the Union" aren't paying my electric bills. $398 this month. Ridiculous. How does one survive? I hate politics.

Backdoor View

16" x 20" Acrylic with Glitz on Canvas

Walking along singing a song

singing a song for you...

looking out the backdoor

what a spectacular view...

Once you were here

we shared our hearts

touching

exploring...

sweet music we made

for only a night

then parted

with

Our days full of

messages

empty of sorrow

waiting for days of tomorrow

The heart cries out

"go away"

yet it is here you stay

desiring to play

Walking along singing a song

this song is for you...

Will wait no longer

walking along singing a song

for you

The backdoor has a more

spectacular view...

The moon hiding

behind the trees

Ever gently to be seen

Covered in frost

Frozen in time...But not me

For I know

spring will arrive

fresh rain will fall

flowers will bloom

Now that's me...

Walking along singing my song

along my way

Stream of Thought

16" x 20" Acrylic with ink and glitz on canvas

"All good things are wild and free."

~Henry David Thoreau

"Do Nothing"

When you come to a place

and you don't know what to do

the best advice given to me was

"do nothing at all"

Feelings rising inside me

stirring my soul

touching my heart

not knowing what to do

so I do nothing at all

Watching thoughts

disappear

giving room for heart

to hear

Laying down

on the ground

feeling dirt

all around

Doing nothing at all

Past & Present

I did not receive my child support this week. So I called Child Support Enforcement and they told me to call my ex's employer. I called and left a message for Bobby, owner of company, to call me. Last night I received a call from Keith, my ex's supervisor. I was surprized to learn that Keith replaced Bob. Since my divorce, I was lead to believe that my ex replaced Bob. While speaking to Keith, my past was soaring through my mind. It was quite a "de je vu" moment. Thinking, "Oh, Dar would not like us talking". Keith told me he did the payroll and my child support check was just recently mailed due to the weather. He also told me he entered my cell number into his phone and for me to take his cell number, which I did. I told him that Anthony had told me if I ever had any problems with getting child support that his dad said to call him, which I did in the beginning, but only to find my number being blocked from his phone. My kids had not talked to their dad since Christmas and not receiving the child support check was a great concern for me. It was very comforting talking to Keith and having "somebody" that would tell the truth. Yet, as I said before, it was so "de je vu" - taking me back to the days Bob and I would talk and discovering all of the lies being told by Dar. Full circle.

Stroke of the Breasts

The stroke of the breasts

the clutch of a hand

chills embracing

with the snow tracing

whiteness surrounds

The stroke of the breasts

the clutch of a hand

ice melts

evaporating

darkness

into

light

beaming

glowing

abound

The stroke of the breasts

the clutch of a hand

love fulfilling

all it can stand

The stroke of the breasts

the clutch of a hand

catering

to nature's own

man