Home

I returned home today after visiting my family in North Carolina for a few days. So, of course, we know where the last blog "Rainbows" came from...North Carolina on my mind. Anyway, for the first time I spent the entirety with my son and his family...only visiting my mom during the day and my sister once at night. It was nice to be surrounded by all of my 3 children at the same time, yet, I realized how different we each were. I felt as though I was exactly the same person inside as I have always been all of my life, only carrying much more knowledge with me, or perhaps wisdom. On the other hand, so were my family, except seeing me through the same eyes. Hoping I had "changed" with the difference being that I had, they just couldn't see it. This probably doesn't make alot of sense to anyone but me, but tonight, that's all that matters to me. They cannot control my life, nor can I control theirs, yet, they still continue to try. Funny thing, I am exactly the same, other than now realizing it.

It is good to be home.

Rainbows

7 years ago, when my then "husband" found out that me and his boss had been emailing, I took my kids and left for North Carolina. I was terrified. Not knowing at the time, he was afraid of his own "lies" coming out but thinking that "I" had been caught. He had been having an affair for quite some time. I'd only been "kissed" by his boss. But when we left, a rainbow appeared in my rear view window....telling me it was all going to be ok. Today, every time a rainbow appears, it brings encouragement. Everything happens for a reason. Knowing that "reason" is such comfort. I like rainbows.

Series9:GlassBalls

Rough Beauty

14" x 18" Acrylic with Ink on Canvas

From: Dan

To: Holly

Date: 2/17/2005

"There's a cliche that says you have to empty the cup before it can be filled....I'm not sure about that....but I do think that writing puts things in perspective and some things are improved by articulation. In Art there's a point where you go from the painful purge to slowly becoming aware of the power of choosing words, and gradually the presence of a will to shape things the way you want them to be becomes more important than personal history...or memory....both of which require your assistance to exist.

I'm not the slightest bit interested in "normal"...which sounds like someone else's idea of how to control and limit my life. I'm interested in beauty, truth, and wonder."