Warm Wishes

 

 

Gift for Joey

 

 

Gift for Anthony

 

Gift For Beth

 



Country Home

The temporary doesn't last

it is fleeting

yet commitment

is scary

Probably due to

3 past commitments

which didn't last

Most people, perhaps?

enjoy the paper wrapping

more than the package itself

(another story learned from mentor)

I, for one, have to admit,

I am atracted to beauty

but

as I age,

I am learning

that it is the beauty inside

Do not meet many souls

who are adjusted within

When I do

and Yes there are a few

They don't see it

Can count on my one hand

the souls I have met

who know

deep within their

hearts

who they really are

yet

current affairs

won't allow it

or in better words

they are afraid of change

Is there such a thing as true love?
Is there such a thing as soulmates?
Perhaps the answers
will arise
By merely asking the question

 

 Fall colors

leaves falling

sun

light shining through

The deadness

of winter

prevailing

upon us

awakens

all

to the new

It's a beautiful

life

All that it entails

love

romance

sparkles

within

A life lived

a life dying

a life beginning

Circles

of love

leaves falling

 

 

RAW Artists Showcase 9-20-12 Mercy Lounge

Work In Progress

To Scream Silently

To scream silently

is still a scream

I have so many hidden pains

which all I can do

is release

To scream silently

for the unfortunates

of life

Many would say

"you made your bed, now lie in it"

Me, on the otherhand,

understand

why life is the way it is

Today

I can only love and say

I am screaming silently for your loss

for your loss of yourself

and your life

as it is embedded

here and now

I only tried to help

But you want me to do what???

Beginning my journey...

or...

becoming aware

of my journey

State of Being

Blissful

A state of being

Creative

Expressive

Joy

Love

Connected to the universe

Abundance

Grateful

Amazingly

Beautiful

Positively

Wonderful

A state of being

Blissful



Dragonfly Tattoo

"Focus on living in the moment.  By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don't want, and make informed choices on a moment to moment basis."

"This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly."

"The eyes symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self.  Rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our universe, and our own minds."

 

Loving The Wild

I've been pondering...

why married men cheat?

What has been causing

this attraction I seem to be creating?

Appears I answered my own question...

Pondering...

why married men cheat?

Now I know.

A week ago

I was with my married friend

Today I learned of his newborn child

My daughter had lots of  words

to describe him

As I searched in the fog of clouds

for truth

I attracted him

for I needed to know

why married men cheat

Christians profess to be christians

yet live a lie

Animal instinct

is in hold

My grandmother once told me

"men will be men"

yet

last week

I was a woman

being with a married man

My answer to this is

I "thought" I understood

where his misery derived from

Yet today

I stand

with

"Don't profess to be anything that you are not"

If one desires to be married

then be married

and leave the rest of us alone

My sympathy ran out

the day you said "I do"

Me

I am not married anymore

and to be quite honest

I enjoy

the variety,

the newness

of new loves

 But....

No more phonies

Be who you are

Be a man

Connecting

18" x 24" Acrylic with glitz on Canvas

A road, a path

weaving and turning

but always a path

Connecting

guided by lights

Connecting with love

Love that can hurt

Love that can heal

Love within

Connecting to all

Beauty within

A road, a path

Wisdom and clarity

Clearly

a road, a path

Interconnecting

Interchanging

Simply put

the beauty

the wonder

the mystery

of love

Ahhh

Love



RAW Mercy Lounge 9-20-12

My showcase was last night.  It was awesome!  I had so much fun!  Displaying my art to virtual strangers was wonderful.  Being able to tell "my story" was very satisfying.  Words seem weak.  Can't really describe the feeling except to say, "I make a difference".  Making a difference in a world where there is so much wrong going on is .... no words to describe.  Speaking "my truth" is very healing, very touching, very human.  The other artists were amazing.  The bonding which took place was breath taking.  But I also learned, being an artist consumes so much of a being.  Working full time and putting on a showcase was time consuming.  I want to praise all the artists/painters who do this for a living.  Magistic.  It totally wore me out!  Yet, it was worth every second, every minute!  The best part was having my family/friends support me with love...and being so proud of me.  Ego I guess.  But I would rather look at it as just love.  Being a victim of domestic assault, the ego wants to jump in there and claim "fame", but me, as a human, only desire love.  Forgiveness is a major part of my art; yet, awareness/enlightment, knows the difference.  So here's to everyone who supported me last night....a big hug and a very big thank you!  I love you guys!

Moose in Steamboat Springs

This is what my youngest son walked upon the other day.  Imagine!  Here I am with visions of my "showcase" and numerous thoughts and wonders going through my head, then suddenly, this pic opens my eyes.  The beauty of life!  The beauty of nature!  Experiencing life in all its grandeur!  This showcase ... I am very excited... the production... the line ups...the show itself, yet, to me, this speaks louder than the "shows" of human.

In The Midst

In the midst of chaos

I remember

In the midst of new beginnings

I remember

In the midst of the old

You were there

Holding my hand

Oh so bold

In the midst of calm

I felt you near

In the midst of now

Nowhere to be found...

Except in the memory of my brain

forever wondering

what might have been

No tears

No heartaches

Only love for what was

Beauty of Truth

Is this real

or is it a dream

a photoshoot

a video interview

trying

desperately

to keep it real

yet

feeling the crossing over

to another world

a world

where I never imagined

I learned to paint

through grief

through heartache

what pleasures

might that bring

at the time

none

The poetry

flowing from my mouth

the visions

entailing in my eyes

Never once

did I imagine

reality

It is happening

my paintings

coming to life

revealing

heartbreak

violence

ugliness

to only find beauty

in this moment

A moment

which may be a lifetime

yet

yes

it is real

I only humble myself

to accept it

to embrace it

to cherish it

with all my heart

life really is good

Nature's Beauty

16 x 20 Acrylic on Canvas with Glitz & Peacock Feathers



One of our nurses at work has a patient who has peacocks.  When they shedded their feathers, the patient gave some of them to our nurse.  She, in turn, gave some to me.  I was delighted!  At first, I thought I would paint the feathers on canvas, but then realized,  the beauty of them could not be painted on canvas.  Only the feathers themselves magnitude their beauty.  This pic was taken without a flash.

I took this pic with the flash.  For me, I see such beauty in both images. 

Showcase

"My first painting I sold - 2007"

I am having my first showcase September 20, 1912 at the Mercy Lounge here in Nashville.  If anyone out there who has been following my art is interested, please buy a ticket at the following link:
https://rawartists.org/magicinthemoon

Dream Catcher

16" x 20" Acrylic on Canvas

This painting came from my daughter's tatoo, "a dream catcher".  I re-created it in my own version.  I think the idea of a dream catcher, in Cherokee eyes, is to catch the bad dreams, from entering while sleeping.  I think dreams are not real.  They are parts of our past hidden.  I can watch some silly movie and dream sorts about it at night.  I don't dream often, mostly only after watching t.v. 

To be in a dream state seems unreal.  I read somewhere that when you don't dream, is when you are actually connected to the divine.  The next morning is quatum leap.  Been there, done that.  Oftentimes still am.  I don't know the meaning of life, I don't know how to control one's life, I don't know what life beholds.  But I do know, that I love living.  I love loving.  I do the best I can and sometimes not.  I have many, many dreams in my head.  I can only humble myself to appreciate them.  Just the fact that I actually "dream" about a future, is good for me.  On the flip side, I am totally happy with today, with everything I have and everything I don't have.  I have the young, I have the old, I have the now.  To me, I have everything I need and whatever life brings me is just a bonus.  Dreams.  When I graduated from the 8th grade, our theme song was "To Dream The Impossible Dream".  I don't want to dream it, I only want to live it.  If I am lucky enough to realize the impossible dream, I have to say, I already am.  Life is beautiful. 

My paintings.  A touchy subject for me.  I have never been an artist. I started painting after I met Dan and that went to hell.  My paintings revealed all that I felt at the time.  I don't know what they mean but I do wish they might help someone else.  I continue to paint for the glory of the art itself.  My "impossible dream" would be to show my art to others and others to understand the meaning for themselves.  I am just a simple being.  My art amazes me.  I love colors.  I love expression.  The freedom of expression.  Years witheld of being free.  Might not be beautiful to all, yet it is to me.  Freedom.  Ahhhhh...just breathe it!

Here is my son...the "trout catcher".  17 inches. 

And this is the buck who met him on his way home after fishing!

The stillness of the evening

the beauty of the nature

whispers

love

calling

dwelling

purifying

water

drenching

my heart reaches out

to the beauty of nature

mountains

which do not need to move

soak my soul

of a love everlasting

within

 

A young mother gives birth

to her second child

two months early

the baby arrives

and attached to a breathing machine

24 hours later

the baby dies

what's the point in that

There is a reason

so they say

why things happen

this way

Fishing for answers

in the cool springs

of the mountains

Acceptance

of something

that just wasn't meant to be

What's the point in that

Life is precious

if only for a few hours

the child was born

leaving behind

truths to be found



All Sounds Off

All sounds off

listening to the tune of the universe

All sounds off

the magic button on the cell phone

leaving all sounds off

Mowing the grass

only hearing the sound of  lawn moyer

thoughts popping up

throughout my brain

meaningless thoughts

random thoughts

hear and gone today

All sounds off

choosing when to hear

choosing

a choice

always

that beloved choice

All sounds off

when the body is tired

and ready for rest

Turn the switch

all sounds off

Tomorrow is another day

today

I chose

all sounds off

Beauty of Love

To love is a gift

To forgive is a gift

The beauty of love

flourishes all of life

The freedom to be oneself

magnifies

expands

through time

Time stands still

when all is quiet

and the world is resting

Nothing else exists

except love

Magic In The Moon



To find the truth

One has to hurt

One has to love

One has to accept

I loved my ex

with all my heart

until

the day the heart

was broken

Too many bad words

too many bad times

too many wounds to heal

I left

in my mind only

yet

I left

I found a fantasy world

yet

he found a real world

which destroyed me

totally

destroyed me

The wounds won't heal

with what one calls a "penance"

yes he was catholic

now finding his way

as something other

My better way of

snawling at a religion

Wounds will only heal

if one faces the truth

don't blaim it on the father

just heal

and accept

I made a mistake

don't

know why

yet today

You kissed me

Let bygones be bygones

explanation made

Today

I love you

That's all I have to say

Other than

don't yell at me

Yes

I am the yin to your yang

Celebrate

Celebrate

a love lost

a mistake fixed

Celebrate

a new beginning

an old ending

Celebrate

life is melancholy

the good with the bad

Celebrate

realizing

the difference

Celebrate

knowing

the difference

Celebrate

a love lost

a love gain

Celebrate

the

Truth

Life is

what it is

sometimes good

sometimes not so good

Celebrate

life

The going

keep going

Celebrate

the diverse

the difference

the uniqueness

of everyone being different

Celebrate

breathing

living

loving

No one is perfect

yet

we all are

In my own

unique way

We make up

the universe

differences

appreciated

We are one



Sunflower

I could reflect upon my son

the one who tried to steal my inheritance

I could reflect upon the married men

Whom I won't mention by name

Instead I reflect upon the earth

The beauty of a small flower

Blooming

In this large cosmos

called life

I am a small speck

universal

yet small

The beauty of a flower blooming

with the universe in the background

gives flavor

to this thing called life

A small seed planted

growing to maturity

which same as life

dies

only to bloom again

A small flower

gives such

earthly pleasure

if only to me

I am a small speck

in this enormous universe

blending with time

which only exists

in a place

where there is no time

no space

only

to

be

Earthly Pleasures

Discovering earthly pleasures

as a spiritual being

brings about

amazing findings

Discovering earthly pleasures

as a spiritual being

takes upon focus

who is in control

Discovering earthly pleasures

awakening to the morning sunshine

and all is love

the divine

working

connecting

to the universe

One may think they are in control

One may ask and shall receive

but the final situation

is how it is suppose to be

As the saying goes

you may not get what you want

but you get what you need

Still standing

still abundance of love

in life

for that is

and all that will be

Love

Steamboat Springs Rainbow

After the thunderstorm

when the rain has stopped

a beautiful scene

forgets me not

As if the gold

sparkles

illuminating

the hidden

What better way

to feel all

life offers

Simplicity

speaks loudly

yet softly

Nature's beauty

quietened

Thunderstorm Love

Discovering love with a thunderstorm

Waves of energy

flowing

opening

Discovering love with a thunderstorm

Lightning

jolting

bolting

temperature rising

Discovering love with a thunderstorm

Becoming one

blissfully

accepting

Thunderstorm love

rain purifying

touching the gods

sweetness

of the honey

Love

I choose my life

as a sexual being

enjoying all the earthly pleasures

on this physical plane

Love

I choose

Love

Thunderstorm Love

Exciting

Enticing

Romantically

Inviting

I choose love



Souless Being

Did I look into a soul

of a souless being

Everyone

has a soul

Yet

I saw emptiness

of a being so harsh

All I could do was

let my light shine

upon darkness

He left me

draining

my energy

yet

he left

me

He could have hurt me

yet

he left me

Speaking quietly

unto myself

I know what I saw

and what could have been

Forever grateful

for what is

Take me to love

not to predators

Take me to love

fulfill my wish

Who am I speaking to

life

endeavors

consciously seeing

the difference

in what is

and what could have been

I am lucky



My Sister's Handbags

4th of July On The Beach

Let Freedom Ring

Harry Potter's World

My daughter grew up during the "Harry Potter" era.  It was mystical, magical.  Today is her 19th birthday and she is presently at Harry Potter's World in Orlando.  She left this past weekend with her boyfriend and his family and will return this weekend.   All the years that have passed since she was born is exactly that...magical, mystical.  We went to every movie, bought every book. 

True love?  My beautiful family!

True Love

My heart searches for true love

memories

upon memories

races through my mind

The past aches

things which need to be forgotten

yet remembered

To take me to the place of reality

The old, the cruel

awakening

to find the place of love

I remember you

the man who stole my heart

Today

I give it all back to you

You saved my soul, my heart, my love

from being

forever scorched

into the deadness

of uglinesss

I will

forever

love

you

Where I Was...

When I think about where I was

and where I want to be

the memory takes me back

exactly to where I was

It  wasn't a good place

it wasn't even a safe place

it was a financial place

where money was no problem

When I think about where I was

and where I want to be

I remember

the longing

for love

Forgiveness has set in

yet the memory hasn't left

I know exactly where

I want to be

Financially

not a happy place for me now

yet

Emotionally

again

forgiveness set in

but

I don't want to be

where I was

Timelessness

discovered

love

Love in a place

where love truly exists

within myself

To love oneself

is a job

a daily job

where all others

expose you

disclose you

yet

you learn

it is ok

to be yourself

I remember
how it felt
to be
unloved
by you

Today...

Ecstasy

I experience

daily

Remembering me

and where I

wanted to be

The rememberance

of a love

still burning

I

remember

the kiss

 the yearnings

the desire

which swept me off my feet

taking me away

from all

that use to be

One day.....

you will find your way

back to me...



Letting go...again

I can't make you someone you're not

I can't open your eyes

to your specific religion

I can

Hold your hand

as you navigate

through life

Which I did

for the last

4 years

The intensity

of the missing

of your passion

touches my soul

The intensity

of the love for

your children

overwhelms me

I can

Openingly

Forgive you

for making me play this part

a soul of love

a soul of devotion

to life

not of deadness

of weakness

of powerlessness

Words are deep here

trying to express

in simple terms

4 years

of connectiveness

Find your home

within yourself

not within your religion

not within your values

of what is right

what is wrong

Find your home

of happiness

that is what

I wish for you,

my dear, sweet man



A Stone

I am a stone

buried beneath the sand

sparkling and shining

waiting to be found

I am a stone

don't paint me

with your acrylic colors

I am nature

perfect as I am

I am a stone

discover me

waiting to be found

My light shines

upon the needy

upon the lonely

upon myself

I am a stone

see me

as I am

Happier

 

My heart is my center

love pours

inside and out

My heart is my center

no beginnings

no ends

My heart is my center

as myself

I walk this path

with all

whose path

cross

Love remains

forever

and

the

same

Shuffling Through

This week weekend,

I had an idea,

A feeling,

A wanting,

A desiring,

to be outside.

I took my twin mattress

outside

to my deck

idealizing

me and Betty

sleeping under the stars.

Far be it from me

to realize

locks...

I'l be damned

if I didn't lock myself

out of my house...

Betty,

inside...

with like..

what the fuck

Yes,

I slept outside on my deck

alone...

Betty, my dog

on the inside

switch of role plays here

The thing

is

no phone

no nothing

only

the open

universe

Where is this settling taking me

What is my heart's desire

it is a desire for freedom

from this tiresome world

The political

of who can get

the most votes

It is freedom

Freedom

to breathe

Freedom

to live

Freedom

to just be me

Physical

The spiritual world

confused me

with the physical world

Being, I think,

a spiritual being

experiencing

a physical world

I still see myself as

physical

I know what I like

and what I don't

it appears

in this situation

....

the spiritual tried to

take hold

of the physical

A lesson learned

many years ago

I am a spiritual

being

having a human

experience

Human being

I am attracted

to the physical

No powers of God

if you believe in such

will hold me

physically attached

It all makes sense

if only to me

I know who I am

and what I like

so

it's not you