No Reply

16" x 20" Acrylic on Canvas

Update: Realized I had set up the "google alert" a long time ago when Dan and I were emailing. I removed the alert.

This week I have received emails re: "daniel dutton-no reply". They came in the early sleeping hours. Reading his blogs, I so want to respond, yet, I am not allowed. His latest, "white lady", calls to my very soul. Cannot explain it. It is stunning to say the least. Relating in a territory so off limits. Most folks would just call it "looney". I am not looney. Just optimistic in a time where the world sees suffering. I see renewal. Realistic vs. optimistic? You can sit and seep into darkness, or you can overcome it and find a higher ground. I choose the higher ground. Beliefs? I believe in a higher power. Do not try to define it. I do experience it. Beauty, love, aweness, whatever words may try to describe it, it isn't enough. I experience it. So very, very grateful. Bubbly, yea, that's me. Descriptive? Cannot describe it. Words are just words. Meanings given to man. I say one thing, mean another. Somehow, the meaning is translated. Connection. Miraculous connections. Science tries to explain it. Is it explainable? Energy. Positive/negative. Why not stick to the positive? Will it overide the negative? Or does it need to balance out?

This poem which Dan wrote, "White Lady", reminds me of one of our last emails when I told him I knew who his lover was. He flipped. To me, his "lover" was not a real person. Never was. It was a divine love. Realizing this was so beautiful to me. It was about a love for oneself. Learning to love yourself. Yea, that is what Dan taught me . To love myself. It is not a selfish love. It is divine. Divine itself was a new word for me. He taught me "divine". Gratitude. He is not a "god" to me. He is a very human being. With a very real life. So, I keep my distance, out of respect. Manners, respect, cautious, quiet. My 4. He is real. In a unreal world. Reality? It's your choice. Make it what you want it to be. Damn. What can I say??? Lucky? I don't know. All I know is that I was very fortunate to come across this beautiful creature. No more pretenses. The world is one large "theatre". We choose the characters. They are what we need them to be. Once, in a lifetime, theatre takes 2nd place, and we are truly who we are. Free.