My ex father-in-law died this week. Even though we have had nothing to do with one another since my ex left, I cried. I cried for years of memories. As I loved my ex's mom, I also loved my ex's dad...at one time. It is difficult to love someone when they abandon that love...when they abandon love period. My daughter has had an especially difficult time. Her father abandoned her when he left me. Not wanting to draw this out, death brings closure. My kids have been bonding since their grandpa died. They have been bonding with each other and their dad. In short, they are talking about what is real.
The lifetime I shared with my kids' father was real. The best part about that is it doesn't hurt anymore. Finding the freedom to be me and accepting me is the most wonderful thing I can think of. Lessons were learned. You cannot change someone else. You can not fix someone else. Only accept and move on.
No. Life is about change....not acceptance. If you don't like the notes being played on the keyboard, then change the notes....a very early lesson from Dan. I read my ex father-in-law's obituary. What an outstanding citizen...so it seemed. Truth of the matter is...he was a son of a bitch. Hate using that expression due to feminine being a bitch...yet, with gender removed, he just wasn't what he appeared. He is being buried today. Back to the earth where he came from. Still living are his children who are blinded by death. I still see how he treated their mother and his children and his grandchildren. Death does not fix. Unless one dies with you. Let the dead be dead and the live be alive. Leaving the past buried. Learn to be yourself. Not lessons taught. If, and that is a very big IF, my ex now bonds with his children, it will be of no thanks to his past. It will be because of the present. The living presence of life. Not death.
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