
I talked with my mom last night. She was very upset. She lost $30,000 in her investments. She said to me, "Holly, that was your father's retirement fund...so that he knew you would be "ok" after he was gone". I said, "mama, it is ok, it is only money, we still have each other". The love I feel, the memories of my past, just the love of life that was, that is, that is all that matters." She was so disappointed because she wanted to send me money, which was no longer there. I told my mom, "hey, we have each other, that is what is important". She said, "I am going to take a xanax, and go to bed". Oh my gosh! Life, memories. We're going there for Thanksgiving holidays. My son is going to Colorado Mountain School in January. He informed me that he did not know if or when he would come back....life,,,cannot predict...so he wants to visit my family..until then.
Is the world an illusion? Don't care. It is what it is.... I've dealt with it..lived with it...only to wake up and love it... oh my gosh..this terrible thing of love....yes, I love. That is who I am. I love. I have "loved" my entire life. Yet, and let's put in that "but", "LOVE", does not hurt me anymore. For I know, that love does not hurt. Love is beautiful..in all it's shapes, in all its forms...love does not hurt.
Is the world an illusion? Don't care. It is what it is.... I've dealt with it..lived with it...only to wake up and love it... oh my gosh..this terrible thing of love....yes, I love. That is who I am. I love. I have "loved" my entire life. Yet, and let's put in that "but", "LOVE", does not hurt me anymore. For I know, that love does not hurt. Love is beautiful..in all it's shapes, in all its forms...love does not hurt.

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