It has been a very strange day for me. Going to work at 7:30, yet only to leave at noon. I asked for the time off. I was granted that time. During that time "off", I spent with my friend who is a musician. Yet, today, he was a photographer. He was to take "pics" of me. As one professional artist to another. It was a very interesting afternoon. We went down paths which, still, I have not recovered from, and yes, I am sure, neither has he. It was strange how this "force", this "power", whatever it is, will guide 2 beings to where they need to go. We were in a place where "time stood still". As I said before, we are both still recovering from. The "divine" will, "will" do exactly that. My friend, has many songs to sing, has a whole lifetime ahead of him, yes, he is very much younger then me, yet, we shared a "place" where "age" does not matter. The beauty of the young and the old. Bringing wisdom together. Ahh, such a wonderful place!
What I discovered, was, in discovering each other, we discovered the nature of "ourselves". What a lovely place to be! As I described the love I felt for another, I discovered, that there is no difference in the "spiritual world and the physical world". It is all one of the same. For the love I feel spiritually is yes, the same love I feel physically. It is only bringing a "higher love" into the physical world. Yet, knowing the boundaries of that same love. "You cannot force someone else to love you." So even tho' I may choose to love someone who does not love me, it is my choice. "That" love will not dissipate, yet, it will open my eyes to reality in realizing that we all have a choice in whom we love. Why choose to love someone who does not return that love? That is where the spiritual comes in. Yes, I do so love this person, yet, if that person does not return that love, then, yes, you move on, to find someone who truly does accept/love you, with that "knowledge" of what "true love" feels like, to guide you, to show you, yes, there is "true love', but, "true love" also loves you in return. It is a matter of give and take. I will glady give, even when that love is not returned, but, I will not sit and wallow over an empty love. Afterall, it is all about learning. How can one learn to love if it is always given in return? My point being, love yourself.
I think, yes, as I told my friend, "think", the problem with love and artists, is, you cannot commit for you do not know what tomorrow brings. An artist rides the waves, accepting and balancing. For an artist to "commmit" to another, is almost like breaking the laws of being an artist. You cannot "promise" tomorrow. Or perhaps you can. Perhaps that is where "commitment" comes in. You can hope, you can desire, but that does not make it true. Riding the waves is so exhillarating. Yes, it would be nice to be able to "control" those waves and hope your partner stays aboard, and fate doesn't set hold, ok, perhaps that is my goal. Knowing what you know and realizing where it comes from and being able to "slip by"...keeping what you want alive...
What I discovered, was, in discovering each other, we discovered the nature of "ourselves". What a lovely place to be! As I described the love I felt for another, I discovered, that there is no difference in the "spiritual world and the physical world". It is all one of the same. For the love I feel spiritually is yes, the same love I feel physically. It is only bringing a "higher love" into the physical world. Yet, knowing the boundaries of that same love. "You cannot force someone else to love you." So even tho' I may choose to love someone who does not love me, it is my choice. "That" love will not dissipate, yet, it will open my eyes to reality in realizing that we all have a choice in whom we love. Why choose to love someone who does not return that love? That is where the spiritual comes in. Yes, I do so love this person, yet, if that person does not return that love, then, yes, you move on, to find someone who truly does accept/love you, with that "knowledge" of what "true love" feels like, to guide you, to show you, yes, there is "true love', but, "true love" also loves you in return. It is a matter of give and take. I will glady give, even when that love is not returned, but, I will not sit and wallow over an empty love. Afterall, it is all about learning. How can one learn to love if it is always given in return? My point being, love yourself.
I think, yes, as I told my friend, "think", the problem with love and artists, is, you cannot commit for you do not know what tomorrow brings. An artist rides the waves, accepting and balancing. For an artist to "commmit" to another, is almost like breaking the laws of being an artist. You cannot "promise" tomorrow. Or perhaps you can. Perhaps that is where "commitment" comes in. You can hope, you can desire, but that does not make it true. Riding the waves is so exhillarating. Yes, it would be nice to be able to "control" those waves and hope your partner stays aboard, and fate doesn't set hold, ok, perhaps that is my goal. Knowing what you know and realizing where it comes from and being able to "slip by"...keeping what you want alive...
**Posting later, exactly 11/30, this is what I know today...riding the waves can be "exhillaterating", yet, after skiing, proving to myself that yes, i can still balance myself, but, the thing is, that "drive" is no longer there. I do not "need" the excitement of the waves any longer. The peacefullness which lives inside of me is much more fulfilling. A "promise" is just that, a "promise". When I was little, a promise was as good as a handshake. Bring back that trust. Let me believe again.
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