Last summer, I took my daughter, daughter-in-law, grandaughter, and grandson to Myrtle Beach. My sons were a bit frustrated for they were not invited. We needed time to ourselves. The trip was wonderful with the exception of "cell phones". Every time my son would call, my daughter-in-law would literally change into someone we did not enjoy being with. The early mornings were spent listening to stories my daughter-in-law would tell me. Tears flowed. Today, they are in the midst of a divorce. They had been together for 17 years. They have been fighting for 17 years.
The last two weekends I have been listening to my oldest son. He finally called after he had calmed down from his anger. I do not give "advice". If insights come, I will share. Yet, listening to what is now going on between him and his soon to be ex-wife has brought me down "memory lane". It is so like the divorce my ex and I went through. When he complains to me about what his wife is doing, I just listen. I understand both sides. I do share the similarities in our divorces. Such as the part the lawyers play. They seem to be the only ones who are benefiting from divorce through the courts. Dragged out divorces are so hard for everyone involved. My son has moved out from my mother's house and found a place of his own. He said to me, "I don't have much now, mom, but I am happy, except for fighting with the courts". It appears my grandson is having the most difficulty. He is only 9. Yet, his 9 years of his tiny life have been spent watching his parents fight. Similar to his father's childhood years.
This has been quite draining for our family. Yet, once I "drained" myself during my divorce, I was able to fill that void with so much inner peace. I know in my heart that everything will be ok, exactly the way life is suppose to be. A life full of love and laughter. Even as we go through the tears, these tears lead to laughter.
The last two weekends I have been listening to my oldest son. He finally called after he had calmed down from his anger. I do not give "advice". If insights come, I will share. Yet, listening to what is now going on between him and his soon to be ex-wife has brought me down "memory lane". It is so like the divorce my ex and I went through. When he complains to me about what his wife is doing, I just listen. I understand both sides. I do share the similarities in our divorces. Such as the part the lawyers play. They seem to be the only ones who are benefiting from divorce through the courts. Dragged out divorces are so hard for everyone involved. My son has moved out from my mother's house and found a place of his own. He said to me, "I don't have much now, mom, but I am happy, except for fighting with the courts". It appears my grandson is having the most difficulty. He is only 9. Yet, his 9 years of his tiny life have been spent watching his parents fight. Similar to his father's childhood years.
This has been quite draining for our family. Yet, once I "drained" myself during my divorce, I was able to fill that void with so much inner peace. I know in my heart that everything will be ok, exactly the way life is suppose to be. A life full of love and laughter. Even as we go through the tears, these tears lead to laughter.
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