My Grandfather

18" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas
Copyright ©2008 Mary Holly Ceragioli

18" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas

Copyright ©2008 Mary Holly Ceragioli

18" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas

Copyright ©2008 Mary Holly Ceragioli

When my grandmother died, (my mother's mother who was Irish, with my grandfather being part Cherokee) , I remember being at the funeral, and my grandfather and myself were at her coffin. My grandfather bent over and kissed her on the lips and said, "goodbye, my love". It was scary, yet, heartfelt. (I mean she was a dead corpse.) He loved her soooo much. I think the year was 1977. My grandmother had just recently got a phone in her home. She died talking on that phone. Suddenly, she had a stroke. Probably, about a year later, my grandfather was found dead on his way to answer the phone. Stories which were told to me between those deaths were that my grandmother would come to him in his sleep. She would "appear" at the end of his bed. My cousin, Sandi, telling me this story, after she walked in on my grandfather one night who was at the side of his bed, knelt on his knees & praying, and he told her of my grandmother's "appearance" during his dark, lonely nights.

When my marriage was falling apart, my mother sent me a book, "The Notebook". I cried endlessly for I knew I never knew that love which was talked about in this book. The young man had fallen in love with a young maiden, who was so full of life and had so much to offer the world. yet, her heart belonged to this young man, whom, wasn't sure of himself. He came from a financially poor family, yet, his father was so loving, so understanding. They had so many trials and tribulations which kept them apart. Similar to "Romeo & Juliet". Anyway, later on, after I was actually divorced from my husband of 18 years, and was communicating with Dan; we were talking about the ballads he was working on for 21C: "True Thomas & Tam Lin". He had been drawing/painting images from these ballads. After only a few short emails, I came to realize that Dan was the man for me. Probably desperate for "that true love", yet, not knowing, I told him about the movie I had watched which was "The Notebook". He was offended that I actually compared his "art" to a hollywood movie. I explained my grandparent's deaths. I explained how all of my life all I wanted was to be loved, by a spiritual man, and love him in return. Now, as I am talking about it, I think it was more like, an emptiness inside of me, for I never felt "spiritual". Yet, with Dan, it was a love so overpowering that I could not describe it.

In return, Dan told me about "Fannie & Alexander". The story of a uncle who lived in a very old house and his 2 nephews came to live with him. One night, the uncle got up to go pee, and the nephew appeared at the keyhole peering in. What he saw was an old man with a puppet face on (the uncle made puppets). The nephew said, "who are you". The uncle replied, "God". The nephew, who was a non-believer at the time, replied, "why have you come"? The uncle replied, "to show that I exist".

At this time, I had been having dreams of coming up out of water and actually being "kissed". Dan told me "you cannot control God. You are only seeing the face of God." I think, today, as recalling this, he was telling me that I was only seeing the horizon and could not control where it was taking me. This was in the beginning of my journey.

Our next journey took us to the ship and the kayak...riding the waves. He had just returned from Washington.

6:59:00 PM

by Happier