Great Nephews

The first little guy is Will. He is sitting beside his mother, my brother's daughter, Wendy. The little guy with the plug in his mouth is Collier. He is my nephew's son, born this year on Father's Day.

This picture reminded me of the "darkness" I went through. It was a different type of darkness than what I know now. My brother died on his son's 23rd birthday, two days before Christmas. I recall at the funeral, the preacher saying, "God picks only special ones at this time of year", and my thinking, "well that totally sucks, this is suppose to feel special"? No, I was angry. My brother was only 46 years old. I was pissed. Yet, it was totally out of my control, all I could control was myself. It took awhile to get through it, but I did, just as the rest of my family has.

And it's like, now, "Look Mike! Look at your beautiful grandchildren, what you've left behind, yet seeing his children and his grandchildren brings Mike so much closer."

Back to it being a different type of darkness - my own children - their father is alive, yet, they choose not to see him. Character. My brother was a very gentle, loving father. The pain I suffered when my brother died was not my choice. The pain I suffered during my marriage, why? Because I did not think I had a choice. Character - finding the courage to walk through the pain. Oh yes, it is definitely worth it.